I hope all is well. Lend me your ears that I may speak and you may hear what I have to say...Its been years strong hiding in the shadow of just yourself and God, refusing to get out of it. The Lord is great and sees the inside but yet unless you let it out to a fellow brother or sister it becomes difficult to ever resolve the issue because you are too ashame to let your neighbor see your weakness. Hundreds of friends you have and yet not even a hand full can say they know you inside and out. To say that I'm your closest person is embarrassing that sometime I'm questioned about you but I have no answer because I do not know.
I hear you say the world/friends are not to be trusted but remember "The bad ones have ruin it for the good ones that we have become a shadow of ourselves only to be seen by a few, so far apart that even the good ones can no longer see each other" - Mr. Honest & YSU
Now do you know what a true friend is?...He/she is one that knows not to hide anything from you weather it may hurt you or make you smile, he/she is willing to risk losing you as a friend just to tell you the truth or something that may hurt you in the future, he/she may know you and understand you more than yourself, he/she sees what is wrong and no matter how much older you are than them, they are willing to slap you in the face with it in hope that you do not fall in the pit that is been dig for you. My love, many ears are busy these days and plugged on to the headphones of their personal interest, that I will say that he that find an ear find a great thing.
Now personally I do understand sometime when we know we are wrong the hardest/embarrassing thing is have someone you know slap you in the face with it, but sometime we've got to learn to accept it because God is a God that sees everything so imagine how much more of a greater embarrassment that will be. Admitting our wrong is difficult but I've got three mini step that might ease the process. First we admit our wrong to God, and then to ourselves and then to a trusted human being around us.
Yours in Christ,
I hope and pray that there is a YOU out there reading this and I pray that this may be of a help in some ways.