Sunday, August 5, 2012

Speechless

August! August! August!...Surely my favorite month of the year :) Happy New month everybody, better late than never abi?

This blog post is more for me apparently no one is on my side on this case..

So lately as I turn left, right, front and back every every little kids I grew up with are popping out babies and I'm just like still in shock because some of these young girls just graduated from high school or not even yet a graduate and it just breaks my heart because a lot of these girls don't even know much about what life is all about . Usually it don't bother me much but when I found out one of the little girl I grew up with just had a baby I was plain devastated. This girl lets call her Sammy is probably about 18 or 19 and just had a baby of which the boy does not even want the child or anything to do with her. Sammy growing up was one of the book smart kids that I knew, competing in spelling bees and all that Academic decathalon events across the nation. In a way I put 20% of the blame on Sammy and the other 80% on her parents.

Now the problem I have with alot of African parent that relocate to US is the fact that they all feel like they have to work 24/7 just so they can have things to show off which leads to their children doing all sort of unimaginable things without their parents knowledge. The other set of parents are the ones that think they have to me super strict on their children everything revolve about school work and no play. Sammy's parent were probably the most strict parents I have every met and this girl can not even dare go outside for fresh air without her parent's consent. At age 16/17 I believe she got enough of it and decided to do whatever she want. This lead to her parent beating her up one day and she ended up calling the police and she was taking away by the government and letter ended up in a shelter. To cut the long story short she ended up doing all sort of crazy things afterall she has never had the taste of fun/life outside her house so she was ready to do everything, wherever and whenever which later led to a baby. It really breaks my heart because she is this smart little girl I used to know and could have earn herself an amazing scholarship to university if she graduated high school. In her case I really do blame her parents because you just can't be so overprotective of your kids because once they get out of your sight they will venture out into something that you have always deprive them of.


The other set of parents I can't tolerate are the gold diggers who don't care about the happiness or the well being of their child except what is in for them. Another friend of mine just got engage a few weeks ago and getting married in next year's fall. She is about 20 and knowing her pretty well enough I just think she is way to young especially getting married to someone who is almost 30.They are totally at two different life stage and its like she is skipping a stage in her life. In most african home (At least the ones i know) at early 20's is when you really start to find out who you really are and what you really want. Jumping from parent's house to hobby's house so quickly, when do you get  your alone time?  The guy is a working young man and she is a college sophomore and in my head I was just thinking when I was 20 the last thing my parent will agree to would be me getting married without even finishing a first degree. For me if my daughter really loves the man and the man claims he loves her then I would have said wait 2 years. Afterall if it is God's will then those 2 years to finish her education will not be a problem.

Anyways sha enough of my little rant, I guess you could call me old school if you like but I still think getting married younger than 20 and popping babies anywhere between 16-20 is too young especially when its not a mistake.I may just be too much into the  "finding myself/exploring who I'm" first before taking on the responsibility of becoming a wife and a mother. Many people I know disagree with me about these early marriage and baby outside of marriage/without a father stuff so I shall rest my own case here. This post is more for my rant but of course I love hearing your lovely comments and stand.


xoxo
YSU



P.S  In my next post I shall have a few surprises for y'all and probably a giveaway too. I shall also be answering any/all question so if you have ever wanted to ask me anything you've got a chance to ask me. YSUnspoken@gmail.com is my email and I shall answer them in a future post.

P.P.S. Dancing Alanta, Azonto and Kukere all at ones just because its August and the best people are born in August for sure. Early birthday shout out to Didi and every other blogger or follower born in August :)


P.P.P.S Hillsong Live is going to be in town in a few weeks and I so can't wait for this, I'm sure  inthemidstofher knows how this feels lol :)





14 comments:

  1. hmmm, I have no problems with the early marriage as long as it's her decision and no one is forcing her into it, marriage should not stop you achieving whatever you want to i.e her graduating from school.

    Kids having kids, that's tough, having two parents look after a child is hard enough let alone doing it alone. God help them.

    www.bukkyapampa.com

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    1. Amen o ...the achieving part will take determinations and strong will...Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

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  2. It's sad when we see very young gurls having babies and it's worse when the baby fathers don't want to have anything to do with them.Parents really should be more attentive.

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  3. In this place, having kids out of wedlock is like a virus..Sometimes see a young pretty girl and when she turn towards me, boom! bele..People make different choices in live regardless of their environment. My parent were over protective to the point people tot we were hiding a family secret, finally I had the opportunity to leave home but I made the choice not to go crazy..

    As for marriage, I use to say i want to marry later but I believe regardless of the age, if you are psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready then go for it as long as you are led by the Spirit of God..Remember, marriage is for grown up, matured (not chronological) people

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  4. August is truly the best month :D Yea, i said it. And Didi's my birthday mate too *huge grin*

    My question: could you share one life-changing experience you've had?

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    1. YAY...Happy birthday in advance too :)...I will definitely be answering your soon

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  5. In my opinion, early marriage is not ideal as people are still growing and there is the danger of people out-growing each other.

    Kids having kids is a modern epidemic

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    1. Naijamum is here...doing my happy dance lol...you are so right and on point there

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  6. The story about Sammy is so heartbreaking, SMH. On the one that wants to get married, maybe she has found her purpose and her soul mate. I also prefer married around mid 20s but we all are different.

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  7. Heart breaking but thats the new world.the world of freedom. :(
    Thanks For The S/O.

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  8. Lol… it feels like the sun is in your belly and illuminating this blinding light… or…. the way you feel after finding out school is closed for 1 month during final exams… or the way you feel when the cute boy in class notices you and asks for your name... or…lol

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