I have got this "Best Friend" take note of the quote in the title. So let's call him Ayo because it's means joy and that describes our moments. Ayo and I have been best friends for quite a long time now...stop there, before you start judging me I do believe that guys and girls can't be best friends, this I have learned with 3 different experiences/friendship.
Anyway boy and I got really close and we share any and every feelings and thought on things with each other. For a long time it's been great until a while back when I began to feel belittled. He's like the smartest guys I have ever met on planet earth and surely I can say that I have learned a lot with Ayo around.
Going back to feeling belittled. Ayo always have his ways with words and no matter how much defense you put up, he always wins the case and if you think he is wrong and want an apology it is definitely a waste of time and effort fighting for it. So once these feelings began to constantly creep in, I get angry over any little situation and feel so bitter inside.
I have tried to talk about this with him but the message is just not passing across with all the anger inside. When it comes to the things of the heart I could be a very bad communicator and just keep everything in until I explode like now and in the past weeks. At times I feel like walking away but no matter what I can't get myself to do that because we have grown too much to each other. Sometimes I'm hurt because he tells me I have changed or act as if he really piss me off.
I don't know If i'm asking for your thoughts on this or I'm just venting and ranting, but one thing for sure is that Ayo is the only one who knows about my blog and sometimes visit so I'm really hoping he gets to see this. :(
On another note I finally traveled for the first time this year and I went to National Society of Black Engineers (NSBE) convention in Pittsburgh PA....the convention itself was amazing as usual. With thousands of black engineers from all over the country, I kinda felt so very proud hearing everyone's accomplishment and I literally jumped out of my seat when it was announce that Uniben won the NSBE International Consulting Design Olympiad of the year. I was just like Edo folks don't carry last...lol. One thing for sure though is I refuse to return to that city in my lifetime. I thought my town was boring and dry but Pittsburgh is 200 times worst.
 |
| Career Fair at the Convention Center |
 |
| Gorgeous city at night but not going back |
Have a good one guys and Happy Easter celebration. If not for Christ I would have been no one.
xoxo
YSU
Happy Easter to you too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Di hope you had a great one :)
DeleteIf i may,i'd advice you analyze what makes you feel the way you do.You never said he was responsible for the way you feel so we wouldn't blame it on him.Before you lose a friend,make sure you 'balance' yourself.Happy Easter to you in advance.
ReplyDeleteahhh the last part "balance" really did click thanks :)
DeleteI also want you to think further why you feel belittled and want an apology. Communicate this to yourself and it will be easier to get it to him too. He can't help being smart, and would you prefer he actually lets you win? You won't learn much that way, and he won't be happy cos he's not being his real self. That said, I know it's hard to deal with ingrained feelings, but maybe both of you can come to a common agreement that works.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Myne, you really got me thinking over the weekend and it was really helpful figuring everything out and i'm content with the findings.
DeleteHey girl... Like myne said, you need to figure out what exactly makes you feel belittled. If its him, you have to talk to him ( or consider if the friendship is worth it) and if it's you, then you need to address your feelings.
ReplyDeleteThanks dear :)
DeleteYay for Uniben : )
ReplyDeleteJust in case you were asking for our opinion. I think these feelings come from within you and like everyone else has said you need to figure them out. You need to understand why his being right offends you so much. It's possible you may misunderstand it as him being cocky or as him trying to put you down but that may not be the case at all.
Thanks love for your words i really appreciate them :)
DeleteHaha, yep, I sure was in Pittsburgh and shan't be returning.
ReplyDeleteYour friend sounds like he always needs to be right and/or have the last say in any argument. Is that the case? I personally think that no matter how smart someone is, there is no way they can be right about EVERY SINGLE THING and if someone comes across that way, then they are either cocky or not used to not having their way. If a friend is always right, then what are you adding to your friendship if all he's doing is giving and not receiving? I completely understand your growing feelings of resentment, but I think you need to nip it in the bud asap otherwise it could escalate into something much worse. Myne's suggestion is a good one - articulate the reasons why first to yourself and then talk to him about it not when you're angry but when you're in a saner state of mind.
Hope that goes well. Happy Easter!
hehe miss fab. I love this one, it brought out a little different train of thought and it did help when Ayo read your comment and talking about it. Thanks :)
Delete